I had a moment of meaningful reflection recently, as Parisleaf celebrated our Sweet 16, and wanted to share some thoughts with you all about the values that have carried us into “teenagerdom.” Looking back on this rollercoaster of a journey, I was overwhelmed with gratitude. The trust that’s been placed in us by partners, past and present, to help build their legacy and create a better future for us all…what a damn privilege.
I’ve spent a lot of the past 16 years contemplating “next”: the next chapter, the next insight, the next partnership, the next best version of Parisleaf. That ambition isn’t a bad thing, but there’s a difference between getting excited about the future and being so consumed by it that you forget to celebrate where you’re at—and the people who helped you get here.
Working in philanthropy, we talk a lot about gratitude. And we know that consistent appreciation can inspire future giving, form more meaningful relationships with partners, and encourage donors to bring others into a cause they care about. Within our own organizations, it can also help create a culture that attracts and retains like-minded people.
But if the reason we’re thanking someone is solely to get them to give again—or stay—we’ve missed the mark.
Just because gratitude inspires future giving doesn’t mean it’s the full picture—not even close. Whether you’re in a philanthropic leadership role or a business owner, it can be easy to turn values into one more thing to be measured by ROI. Gratitude deserves to be practiced without an expectation of return.
True gratitude doesn’t have strings attached.
It’s all about making people feel seen, valued, and connected to the meaningful impact they create.
For Parisleaf, that’s our partners, strategic partners, our Leaflet homies, and everyone else who has even rooted for us in secret or commented some words of encouragement on LinkedIn in public. It’s taking the time to pause—amid all the chaos, all the “lifing,” all the back-to-back touch-bases and circle-backs—and recognize the people who brought us to this point.
That’s not to say that I’ve got this practice locked down. Nowhere near it. There are days when the revolving doors of emails and parenting make it difficult to remember to thank that partner who got real with us on a call or that teammate who went above and beyond. But remembering to prioritize those moments will always be one of the most important things I do that day.
It’s easy for me to wax poetic about our values given my role, but the true test of an organization’s values is whether the team actually experiences them. So I asked my team for some examples in their day-to-day work. What struck me was how much the little things mattered.
One of our teammates said that it was the Monday mornings when our crew catches up on each other’s weekends and hears about new hobbies, sick kids, neighborhood parades, and rec leagues. The mutual respect, check-ins, and embarrassing stories that remind us of the humans behind the screens.
Another commented that, because of the nature of our work environment, she gets to meet fascinating people—who quickly become friends—whom she never would’ve had the opportunity or cause to run into, were it not for our unique setup.
A member of our leadership team shared that Lunch and Learns, where we gather and listen to experts or peers bring their specific insights to the table, bring him joy—as does getting to wear sweatpants with button-ups from the comfort of his home.
These were things they were truly grateful for, and hearing them helped me notice what I sometimes take for granted. While I’m thinking about what we could build next, they’re reminding me to appreciate what we already get to experience together.
Noticing is part of the practice. Making sure people know is another.
That’s why we’ve been intentional about making room for appreciation in our processes: curated donor gifts, surprise-and-delight moments for a partner, and tokens of appreciation for our time together. These small acts help the people we work with feel recognized for the energy and effort they bring.
The weight of a substantive “thank you” is never to be underestimated.
The same is true in our relationships with donors. There doesn’t have to be a $10M gift to experience or express gratitude. And when there is, we can appreciate the person, their trust, and their hopes for the work well beyond the gift itself.
Would we express the same appreciation if we knew another gift wasn’t coming?
We can care deeply about the future of our organizations and still make sure our appreciation for someone isn’t contingent on what they might do for us next.
So here’s what I’ve learned after many, many years on the job:
None of us build anything lasting and meaningful alone. It takes people. People who believe, challenge, forgive, and occasionally remind you that you’re taking life a little too seriously.
Gratitude is how we make sure those people know they matter, that their investment in us is seen and appreciated. No strings attached.
